Siblings and lessons learned


I have never been one to write “Dear future self” or “Dear sorority sisters” blogs, I always thought that they were cheesy and corny and just not part of my journalistic style: until my sister got engaged. Ever since my cute little sister, at merely 19 years old, accepted to marry her geeky boyfriend, I have been urging, looking for the right moment to express to her the thoughts and love that I feel for her. Seeing that she plans on getting married exactly a year from Saturday, Oct. 14, I think it is about time that I succumb to media trend and hit the nail on the head. Well, here goes nothing.

My lovely little sister,

I have never been so proud of you. I look at you and see such a strong, young woman, a little girl who grew out of pinching me when I picked on you and into a fighter that can pack a punch. As I sit here and write this, looking through my Facebook, and then mom’s, and then yours, I realize how little we are together, how far we have grown apart, literally.

It has been four years since I have lived at home, the few weeks of Christmas break spent sleeping on the couch and hiding my things up in the loft don’t count. We have hardly any pictures together, so little memories shared within the past four years since I started college and you have not only graduated, but have gone through business school and are now engaged.

I look at the pictures you do post, many of you and your man, and you look so happy. You are so beautiful dear one, and I can only hope to look like you when I grow up.

I miss our late night conversations about boys, about mom and dad always yelling at us to pick up after our little brother, about my struggles and battles with my health that you couldn’t understand but only watch me go through. As I look back, I realize that most of the memories I have of us picture me struggling with my health; we missed doing a lot of those sisterly bonding things that sisters at that young of an age would do together. I truly regret that.

I wish that I could go back in time to when we were 12 years old or 16 years old and beat the health issues that I was going through, get rid of the attitude and stupidity that I clung on to, and spend more time with you. I truly wish I could’ve been the big sister that you needed, the sister that you were to me.
Now, I guess we are all grown up, and my heart beams with pride and love for you. I see the man that you are soon to marry and I pray to the heavens above that he makes you happy, treats you with the love and respect that you deserve, or else he will have me to answer to.

As childhood memories start to fade away, I hope that they be replaced with “adult memories’’ of us, that I can finally show and give to you the love and sistership that you always gave to me. You truly are my inspiration, my best friend and as I tear up over this, you are my other half, and I will always care for you dearly.


I’m sure that I am not the only big sister out there who has looked back on her relationship with her little sister and could think of a list of things that we could change, redo, or take back. However, it is a part of living, making the mistakes early on but then being mature enough to fix those mistakes as an adult and move on not only as better individuals, but as better friends and sisters.

As I complete the process of joining a sorority, I will gain 39 older and younger sisters. Just like any new member, I will gain a big sister, a specific sister that I can turn to and lean on in times of need. I’m sure that anyone who has gone through Greek life and has received a big or a little can vouch that the relationship that grows from the pairing is so similar to that of an actual, name sharing sister or brother. I will with all my might be the little sister that my little sister was to me, and I urge anyone, anyone at all who makes the decision to go Greek, to truly rely and trust on your big and little, establish a strong bond, because like family, those bonds never break or bend.

All in all: I speak for all of the big and little sisters out there. My beautiful little sister, and to all of the little sisters out there, continue being you. Continue growing and continue enjoying life as you are and showing me that with time, all pain heals, and that with family, all pain fades away. You have taught me and all big sisters valuable lessons, you have inspired us to be a better person not only for ourselves, but for you. Never forget who you are little ones, never stop moving forward because no matter where you go, who you marry, or where you end up, we will always be right beside you.
(Kayla Handy is a Clarion University student contributor to & Email Kayla at